The Good Stuff

So, I seriously LOVE Sufjan Stevens. I feel bad because there's so many great songs that he has that just putting one on my blog hardly does him justice. Quick fact about me, music is my LIFE, and hence this guy is a bit of an inspiration. In other news, im feeling better about the friend situation, im branching out and meeting new people. Who knows, im very shy, but maybe some of them will understand my overcomplexity and unusual emotional tendencies.
I think if i could listen to good music for the rest of my life, i wouldn't be depressed.

Monday funday?

Today was a very interesting day, I was asked if I was high 3 times, and if I was gay about 4 times, by complete strangers, to all of which I promptly Lol'd and was on my way. I'm not very self concious of my appearence, and I don't do drugs (aside from from excessive amounts of Nyquil). At lunch I spent some time with friends and was generally myself, however, I felt incredibly out if place for some odd reason. And I realized I was hanging out with closed doors, in a sense. None of them really cared for my real personality (well.. Most of them), and were only fond of the facade I put on every day to fit in.
I was suddenly at a loss, and didn't know who I was, acting especially weird. I spent the next period in a daze, attempting to figure myself out, I was obviously overreacting, but I felt oddly alone. I have close to no one to confide in.
By band class I just acted calm and collected, and had a nice chat with some of the few friends who seem as though they know and are accepting of the ME that once was, and is trying to re-emerge.
I'm a bit lost, and very preoccupied. Over what is really not a huge deal, but my brain amplifies things like this. We'll see what happens tomorow.

So I decided to take a weekend free of electronic devices, to see if I could handle it.
I'd say I fared quite well; however, many people were upset with my lack of texting, and I recieved a bunch a text asking "what did I do wrong???" or, " eliiiiiii, why don't you answer? Do you hate me???"
Holy ballsack, people in this day and age are so dependant upon their electronics, socializing, working, reading, music, it's all through little machines. While many of these things aren't neccessarily bad, it's socializing that gets me the most.
During the SuperBowl I saw a commercial where this guy goes from one house, to a eatery, and to another house without his eyes ever leaving a screen of some sort. And while this is highly idealized, it's not far from the truth. Everyone is so dependant on their Twitter and Facebooks and Skypes that they often do anything else with their time than sit around, and socialize via Internet. (blogging is excempt, sorta :3)
Now many people spend their time on the Internet doing things that they consider interesting or funny. And while the catagory "interesting" encompasses things like the news, and wikipedia,(and blogs) many things that are considered interesting by the general public are dramatic. Everyone loves a good drama, be it a nasty breakup, a hatered between people or countries, injuries, death. If it's not happening to them (or even if it is realit'ssomethi something they can tweet or make a status about, and feel impressive. They can make jokes about it, which ties into the other half of this poorly executed rant.
This is the big one.
Humor.
Since it's very begginings the Internet has be a place of humor as well as productivity, while much of it is mediocre at best, people seek out humor to brighten days, have a good laugh by themselves or with a friend, etc etc.
Now, I believe humor is a wonderful thing, I love to laugh, although I rarely do so.
However, this love of humor, spanning from amusing videos and lolcats to bizzar pornography, has become a dependance for many. And this I believe, is part of why humor has become so neccessary in every day socializing.
People love to be entertained, and via the Internet, it's just three or so clicks away. I feel that after so much of this occurs on a regular basis, it carries over to Real Life. People want to maintain that level of entertainment, and if it's not happeneing, it's often not worth their time. Now this is most certainly not true for everyone, I know a few people who are the opposite. But I see this everyday. It feels like many people are becoming more machine-like than the iPods and ipads they so desperately cling to.
Now not only is humor a main staple of internet society, but humor has changed. I read the book "Farenheit 451" last year, and was appalled by it's descriptions of the humor of the future. People decapitating each other in various ways. And while in a stylized sense (I.e. A Tarantino film) this can be more acceptable, I realized that this was not very far from much of our humor today. We just look at it differently.
Change, it's everywhere. It's unstoppable, and often a good thing. But at times.. I'm not sure I like the direction our world is headed.
Well I believe I got close to six trains of thought going there.. I apologize if it's confusing, I don't edit my thoughts. It's my brain, deal.
In other news, the superbowl was today. I was relatively indifferent towards the two teams, but I thought they played a good game.
The halftime show was..... Unusual, in my opinion. Far to random as far as guests go, I was half expecting a resurected Tupac and like.. Billy Joel to pop out. Regardless, the LED jumpsuits were awesome.
The week was hectic as usual, but I tend to do most of my thinking whilst doing tons of things/tasks.
I feel like that's a good thing.

Memories

This song has been one of my very favorites since i was very little, it speaks to me in ways many people don't understand. Ive listened to it every day since i was like...... 10? So i thought, heck, this should go on my Blog.

Sickness

Wow, I never thought I'd actualy feel too sick to write, I'll have to work on that if I want to be a writer..
I have not been feeling well, nor have many others it seems. And in all this time I haven't even accomplished alot of productive thinking, urgh.
Well, one thing that's been on my mind for a long time is how desperate some people are to have attention, or to be accepted by someone they consider superior to them.
People will forget their closest friends just to feel like someone older or cooler than them likes them. Once again, this isn't true for everyone, but in many extracurricular activities, this goes on. Another thing I wonder is if the subject of this appraisal understands what the person is doing, if they enjoy it. Being cool these days is something I found hard to get on board with. As cliche as it is, I'd rather be cool to my friends.
I'll start thinking again soon, in the meantime....... Sleep.

My body... Is not working, To say the least.
Last night, after a rigorous drumline practice, I attended a concert for one of my new favorite bands, Adestria. It was a first time hardcore show for me; however, after months of pent up emotion I was beyond stoked to let some feelings out in the form of hardcore dancing. It was pretty awesome, I must say. And I recieved my share of being destroyed, which is surprisingly rewarding.
Now the following day (today) I played the city Battle of the Bands with some friends of mine.
We were.... Not great at all? But we had fun, and that's the thing that matters(?). Although I was not functioning very well at all the entire day.
Now while I was there, a friend if mine came up to me and said "dude I totally called out your ex on her blog last night, I said dear (insert ex-gf's name here) this is (insert friends name here) on behalf of Eli." and went on and on about how she needs to get over things and grow up and such (it was rather harsh).
Now, I like this friend, and I kind of chuckled at the time to fit in with the other friends cracking up, but I feel like that was uncalled for.
I'm glad I have friends who stick up for me, but not only did he not ask me (which isn't REALLY a big deal) but i didn't need any sticking up for. As far as I know, SHE has moved on.
it was just beating a dead horse, like with a spikey stick. It won't help anything, it'll just make people more upset.
I don't want to sound like I'm kissing up to her, but it wasn't necessary. It was pretty much rude, which no doubt has been a reoccuring theme between she and I in inpersonal ways, but I hoped we could just break it and let each other live their lives. But we'll see what God has planned. I won't apologize, it wouldn't help anything, I'll just explain to my friend my thoughts, and if he thinks I'm a puss, then I apologize.

Humor

Has anyone else noticed, that these days in order to gain attention you almost HAVE to be funny. At least around where I am. If you want people to like you, you have to be humorous, and they moment they stop laughing, the good feelings diminish. Even among my friends I've noticed that when I don't make them laugh they enjoy my presense less. Which is understandable, everyone wants to smile and be happy. But where is the focus on other values, very rarely anymore do I see REAL conversations. Seriousness is regarded as being boring.
Last year, I had incredible trouble garnering friends, mostly because i wasn't funny. I was akward, and no one spends more than ten minutes on that it seems anymore.
But when one focuses his/her life on being funny and pleasing others, they often lose sight of being themselves, and making themselves happy, or losing track of important things both mentally and physically. I'd like to see some people "deviate from the norm" as it were.
Maybe talk about something other than themselves.